KetchupCréatif7

je fais quoi (encore)

moi et des amies on parlait de nos familles tantôt. mes amies m'ont dit que je devrais appeler la DPJ sur mon père... il est pas abusif (bien qu'il soit aggressif avk des major anger issues, (je tiens pas du facteur lala) , il est pas capable d'exprimer ses émotions ni de comprendre celle des autres et il est limite narcissiste...) et j'ai peur qui si j'appelle ça sert a rien (chu lowkey probablement juste une dramaqueen) et que ça cause plus de mal que de bien. Je veux pas sortir de chez moi, ni perdre mes soeurs, ma mère ou lui. Je l'aime beaucoup mais j'aimerais juste qu'il accepte qu'il fait du mal. Jsp quoi faire, mais j'aimerais qu'il aille en thérapie ou qqch. En ce moment tout vas bien et c'est en majorité pour ça que je veux pas appeler. Je veux pas qu'il ce fâche pcq ça dure longtemps...Anyways, je fais quoi??

mon père me tappe sur les nerfs en criss bro

Ma soeur était fatiguée donc elle était un peu irritable (ça arrive a tlm) et mon père c moqué d'elle en disant quelle avait probablement ses règles (c fucking bitch a dire) . ma soeur, ma mère et moi lui avons répété pour la 234567890 fois que ça ce dit pas. Il nous a traité de vierges offensées et est parti dehors. Comment est- ce qu'on peut lui faire réaliser que ça ce dit pas??

helpppp

j'arrive pas a aller a l'école, on dirait que j'ai genre un mental block. juste penser au fait que tlm me regarde et me bitch dans le dos me donne le gout de dégueuler et de me cacher. je sais que aller a l'école c'est important mais je suis pas capable... je fais quoi??

l'école c ben trash

ya une fille qui m'ignore et soudainement je suis invisible reste de ma classe. travaux d'équipe? oublie ça, chu a mon bureau et tlm est en équipe et me regarde comme si j'étais un alien. même les filles que je croyait être leur amie m'ignorent et me bitchent... je fais quoi lala???

Idk what to do

oui je parle fr mais je suis plus comfortable avk l'anglais idk whyI feel like there is no place for me to go. at school, i barely have any friends and they all switch up on me randomly. one of them who i will not namedrop kinda chooses a friend she'll stay with for some time and avoids almost everyone else. guess what, it's always anyone but me. since around November she started distancing herself from me. we had an argument and didnt talk for around a month. when we started talking again, i tried my best to make her happy yet she did everything i told i didn't like (leaving me out, making plans infront of me,etc) and i feel like i can't complain because were both going through things and it looks like im a crybaby. another friend is basically obsessed with her and it pmo. I'm not jealous (lowkey yes tf?? i'd like to be someone's bestfriend for once!!) another girl i feel like i can talk to but she always goes back to her and now i feel like i can't trust anyone. i have all my classes with them and we all sit close. in arts, they barely even have conversations because im there (i mayyyy be overthinking it but it has always proved to be right)at home its like walking on egg shells. My younger sister (13) always steals my shit and no one tells her to stop. My dad gets mad at barely anything and gives me the randomest punishments ever (taking away my phone for a month, taking away my door, my curtains???) i feel like whatever i do im a dissapointment. he's always whining about how i have daddy issues (that would mean he's the problem hahah) and how i never come out of my room (maybe bc he's always complaining about me??) ever conversation we have is arguing or talking about chores. sometimes i think he's changed and our relationship is ok, he gets mad then i get mad and everything's ruined (ngl i do have maaajor anger issues but he does too and i was the only one sent to therapy). he's emotionally closed off, can't communicate, doesn't respect privacy (fym you won't put a lock on your kids's bathroom AND you dare to come inside when they're showering...broski...) doesn't accept his daughters opinions (invalid because im too young apparently) he's narcissistic, has no empathy and he's secretly a conservative (yes i had to add that bc he lives in a house of liberals)I struggle with a lot. I have body dysmorphia (i hate hate hate my body even though ppl tell me its fine) i have anxiety and it feels like im gonna die whenever im outside of my house, my own thoughts freaking scare me because its always like <<what if you ran away and jumped :D>> or stuff like that. i also stopped sh for summer and its so hard im about to relapse at any minor inconvenience. its hard. i dont know how im still alive.anywaysssss, i don't know what to do, it feels like everything always gets blamed on me (ik im problematic and dramatic but come freaking on) my mom called a therapist in February and we still have no news. i want to talk to some1 but i don't want to end up in a psych ward. my mom even gave me a document about BPD saying her and my old therapist thought it might be a possible diagnosis (gtfo naurrrrrr). i just want people that actually like me in my life idkkk

I was listening to Seventeen by Marina

it made me remember when i was 13 and my mom and grandma had to literally beg my dad to wish me a happy birthday 🙂Marina is GOATTTT

why did i write this much...

my other post is legit a freaking monologue... a dictionary even 😧😔