My Teen and Their Dual Culture
Adolescence is a pivotal period for identity building, and for a bicultural teen, this journey is even more complex and enriching. Understanding the challenges and opportunities of this dual belonging is essential to support your teen with calm and strengthen your bond.
To remember
👉 Biculturalism brings identity and emotional challenges, but these are a normal part of development, not a rejection of the parents.
👉 Open communication, emotional validation, and trust are essential to supporting your teen.
👉 Dual culture is a strength, and parental support helps teens create a unique and harmonious personal identity.
Following your migratory journey, you may notice your teen navigating between two worlds: the culture you come from and the society that surrounds them. Perhaps you worry about them drifting away from their roots, or you feel tensions around values, customs, or even clothing choices. One thing is certain: you are not alone in this.
Understanding the Issues of Biculturalism in Teens
During adolescence, your young person is actively searching for their identity and striving for autonomy. They are also heavily exposed to the host society through school, friends, and media, which contributes to their rapid integration—a process that is often beneficial for their future.
However, this immersion can place them in a delicate position, torn between family expectations and the norms of the society they are growing up in. This “conflict of loyalty” may create internal confusion, a sense of not being understood, or even anger or guilt, especially since emotions are heightened at this age.
Your teen, even if they do not express it, deeply needs your support to build bridges between their two cultures.
The Psychological Challenges of Dual Belonging
Growing up with two distinct cultural models presents significant psychological challenges. Your teen may feel uncertain about their identity, wondering which culture they truly belong to, or even feel like a stranger in both worlds.
The pressure to integrate may push them to adopt behaviors and values that do not always align with what they were taught at home. When family values and those of the host society differ greatly (for example, between a collectivist and an individualistic culture), the inner conflict can be even stronger.
It’s important to recognize that these tensions are not a rejection of you, but a complex stage of their development.
💡Read our article: My teen is questioning our family values.
How to Strengthen the Bond and Encourage Dialogue
To maintain a strong relationship with your teen and support them through this journey, here are some possible approaches:
Reflect on your values and priorities
Perhaps it is unthinkable for you that your teen sleeps over at someone’s house or misses a family meal, while allowing them autonomy in choosing extracurricular activities is not an issue. Becoming aware of what matters to you—and why—helps you understand why certain behaviors may affect you more than others. Talk about it with your teen: family values must be known by everyone.
Trust and openness
Allow your teen to explore the host culture and form their own opinions, even if it means they temporarily step away from certain aspects of your culture of origin.
A rigid attitude risks widening the gap, whereas openness can encourage them to reconnect with their roots later.
Engage in sincere dialogue
You can express your feelings (sadness, worry) to your teen without accusing or blaming. For example: “Our ways of doing things are sometimes different, and I imagine that must be difficult for you. I’d really like us to talk about it.”
Listen to your teen with kindness, without trying to change their mind immediately. Maintaining communication is essential.
Helping Your Teen Reconcile Their Two Cultures
Your role is crucial in helping your teen see their biculturalism as a strength rather than a burden:
Maintain connection with the culture of origin
Continue speaking the language, sharing traditional meals, telling stories, and visiting the home country if possible. These gestures ease the transition and strengthen cultural ties.
Validate their feelings
Your teen is navigating between two worlds, and that can be confusing. Reassure them, validate their emotions, fears, and surprises. Let them know that what they feel is legitimate.
Value the difference
Help your teen see their dual culture as a strength that gives them a unique perspective on the world, better adaptability, and precious open-mindedness.
Stay attentive
Encourage your teen to share their discoveries and questions about both cultures. Your non-judgmental, attentive listening is a foundation for their self-confidence.
No matter what happens, and regardless of the path your teen chooses to integrate their identities, remind them that your love and support are constant.
Finally, remember that your teen does not have to choose one culture over the other, but can create a third: unique and personal, a blend that belongs only to them. This journey may be demanding, but it shapes adaptable, tolerant individuals who are deeply open to the world. As parents, you are the most important guides to helping your young person build a rich and harmonious identity.
