Sexual orientation and gender identity: a guide for parents
Understanding your teen's sexual orientation can be tricky, especially at a time when labels and definitions can change rapidly. The important thing to remember is that one person's attraction to another is very personal, and can change over time.
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👉 The most important thing is to create a safe and supportive environment where your teen feels comfortable discussing their sexual orientation and gender identity without judgment.
👉 Identity is personal. Allow your teen to choose the words that best describe their identity and orientation.
👉 Change is OK: orientation and identity can evolve over time.
Understand and speak the same language
Here are some terms you may come across:
First of all, sexual orientation describes the emotional, physical and/or romantic attraction one person feels for another.
Gender identity is the deep, personal feeling of being male or female, or neither, or both. This feeling often emerges very early in childhood, but may become clearer during adolescence.
A cisgender person is one whose gender identity corresponds to the sex assigned at birth, while a transgender person has a gender identity different from the sex assigned at birth. Finally, a non-binary person may feel neither male nor female, both, or any combination of the two.
Understanding your teen's sexual orientation can be tricky, especially at a time when labels and definitions can change rapidly. The important thing to remember is that one person's attraction to another is very personal, and can change over time.
What do the acronyms LGBT, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+ or 2SLGBTQIAP+ stand for?
2SLGBTQIAP+ is the most comprehensive acronym used to designate individuals or communities:
Two-Spirited (2S)
Lesbian
Gay
Bisexual
Trans
Queer and Questioning
Intersex
Asexual and Aromantic
Pansexual
The + refers to any other non-heteronormative or cisnormative identity, orientation or reality. The acronyms LGBT, LGBTQ, LGBTQ+, LGBTQIA+... have the same meaning, but are less complete.
In more detail...
🌈Heterosexuality is attraction to people of the opposite gender.
🌈Homosexuality is the attraction to people of the same gender (in the acronym, the letters G - gay, and L - lesbian, correspond to a homosexual orientation).
🌈Bisexuality, on the other hand, is the attraction to people who identify as both male and female.
🌈You may have heard of pansexuality. It's the attraction to people of any gender.
🌈Asexuality represents the absence of sexual attraction to anyone (and aromanticism, the absence of amorous attraction to anyone).
🌈Two-spiritedness is a term used mainly by aboriginal people to describe a fluid gender identity or sexual orientation other than heterosexual.
🌈Queer is a generic term used to describe people who do not conform to gender and/or sexual orientation norms.
🌈Finally, a person may define themselves as questioning, that is, exploring their sexual orientation or gender identity.
It's up to your teenager to choose the best words to describe his or her sexual orientation and gender identity, not to anyone else.
The importance of exploring
Of course, your teenager is under no obligation to identify with any of these labels. Likewise, he/she may recognize him/herself in one of them at some point in his/her life, and change over time.
It can be difficult for them to put into words what they're feeling - or even to understand those feelings! The important thing is to offer them an open, caring environment where they can explore their identity without judgment.
If you have any questions or would like more information about sexual orientation, please don't hesitate to contact us.
