What did I do? Why am I being bullied?

It can be hard to figure out why someone’s picking on you in particular. A bully is a person who uses his/her power to take advantage of a victim. Often, the problem relates to the bully and has nothing to do with anything you may have said or done. Sometimes you might be affected by what’s happening to you and end up thinking you deserve it. Wrong! 

People who bully other people think it will give them some advantages, such as power or popularity. They think that violence is a good way of asserting themselves or getting revenge. A bully might want to let someone else know that he/she doesn’t like them or might do it so his/her friends think he/she’s special. But in the end, all reasons for bullying are bad ones, because there’s no good reason to hurt someone.

7 steps to end bullying

Are you a victim of bullying? You need to know that you’re not responsible for your bully’s bad behaviour. And just because you’re being bullied today doesn’t mean you always will be. You can get away from it by taking the following steps.

1. Stand up for yourself

You can…

• say what you feel
• take your rightful place
• face the bully and say that you find the situation unacceptable

It can be hard to stand up for yourself when you’ve been a victim of bullying. You might also lose hope if you’ve made a few attempts that didn’t work. But you have to keep going and look for help from people you trust. To talk about it, you can also contact Tel-jeunes.

2. Have faith in yourself

• When someone bullies you, it shakes your confidence.
• Remember your qualities, strengths, and worth.
• Tell yourself to stay positive and be proud of who you are.

3. Surround yourself with good people

• Spend time with friends who can help you keep away from the bully.
• Be a good friend yourself: approach other people and show an interest in them.
• Try to meet new people by doing activities with them.

4. Ignore the bully

• If you think the bully is trying to make you react, force yourself to keep doing what you’re doing and not react. That will discourage the bully.
• On the other hand, if the bullying continues and you’re hurt by the bully’s actions, you need to act and report the situation.

5. Trust your instincts

• Rely on your instincts. You’re the best person to recognize bullying when it happens.
• Do you listen to your “personal alarm system” that warns you of danger?
• If you’re afraid the bullying will continue, ask friends to stay with you, if possible (for example, at the bus stop).

6. Talk about it!

• Isolating yourself and staying silent doesn’t encourage the bully to stop bothering you. No way! If you do this, the bully isn’t forced to face the consequences of his/her actions. And if you don’t say anything, your friends and family won’t know about it and be able to help you.
• Try not to feel ashamed of being bullied, and report the situation – talk about it to people you trust.

7. Ask for help

Don’t keep this to yourself. Ask for help from your friends, parents, or other adults you trust. They’ll help you find ways to protect yourself, report the bullying, and put an end to it.