Why are people who send sexts looked down on?

When a private sext becomes “public,” people often blame the victim for what happened to him/her. They think that person took a risk and is responsible for his/her own actions. They say the person was wrong to take a nude selfie. They forget that it’s the person who distributes the photo who’s wronging the other one!

That person is acting without the victim’s consent, and his/her action is illegal. It doesn’t respect the private, intimate nature of sexting. It betrays the partner’s trust and puts the victim at risk of bullying or humiliation by exposing his/her private life to the whole world. It’s a serious act that can be punished by law.

Is your sext illegal?

According to the child pornography laws, it is prohibited to possess or publish photos, texts, or videos of a sexual nature that show someone less than 18 years old. That includes selfies, videos, or texts that you create about yourself and that you have in your own possession, whether you share them or not!

Regarding sexts in writing, the law is less severe if both people are consenting, in accordance with sexual consent legislation. However, it’s still something that could have serious consequences. Be careful!

What if sexting is done in private between consenting people?

In principle, it’s illegal to have sexual photos of yourself or your partner on your cell phone if you’re both under 18 years old. Furthermore, it’s risky to take such pictures because you have no control over the virtual world. The photos could end up in a stranger’s hands if your cell phone or computer is stolen. As well, your trusting relationship with your partner could change after a breakup or argument, or under pressure from friends.

Is it common to send nude photos of oneself?

Not that common, no! You might have the impression that it’s totally normal to send nude photos of yourself. That might be true for some people, but not for everyone! Everything depends on what you feel when you do it. Most of all, don’t force yourself to do something under pressure from friends or other people you know.

Seducing by sexting

Whether you’re a girl or a guy, your wish to seduce someone is perfectly normal. However, you need to be careful when you use technology. You may think you’re communicating with the other person in private, but remember that your cell phone leaves traces! A text, email, or Messenger DM can be shown or forwarded to other people. Think carefully before sending a sexy photo or message, which could be seen by other people at your school.

There are 1001 ways to seduce someone: with your sense of humour or personality, by developing a connection with him/her, or doing small favours for him/her. You might even find yourself taking a detour to class just so you can walk by your crush’s locker! You hope he/she notices you, you send him/her subtle messages, you ask him/her questions, and show an interest in him/her.

An exchange between people who trust each other?

The other person may give you the impression of being someone you can trust and may promise never to share what you sent him/her. And maybe that’s what he/she thinks right now and he/she really has good intentions. But it’s still possible that the other person will decide to break his/her promise because he/she’s mad after a breakup or argument, or perhaps under the influence of his/her friends.

Ask yourself what you would do if the other person was there with you. Would you dare to act like this? And does it respect your values? Is this really the message you want to give him/her? Are you the only person sending sexts or is the other person taking part too? No matter what, never send a sext because you feel forced to do it.