To remember

👉 Asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness, even for small problems.

👉 If those around you minimize your difficulties, resources like Tel-Jeunes or school counselors are there to listen to you without judgment.

👉 You deserve to be heard and understood by professionals who are sensitive to your reality.

You feel like you're bothering someone

You should never feel like you might be taking the place of someone who needs help more than you. If you're at the point where you want to talk to someone, it's a sign that your problem is ‘big enough’ and that you have more than a good enough reason to do so; so, first of all, listen to yourself. It’s brave to ask for help before a problem becomes too overwhelming.

If you think about it, it is actually a very logical approach to problem solving. You can start by saying what you find difficult about sharing what you’re going through, and there will be people who will be there for you, whether you think the problem is big or small. 

It's frowned upon in your circle

Maybe your friends or parents tell you that it's "just in your head", or that you're complaining about nothing, or that others have it much worse than you. Maybe you feel like you're going to disappoint them and that they'll think you're weak if you need to talk to someone. People close to you may have misconceptions about mental health or the difficulties you may be going through, and can say hurtful things.

If your friends or family ridicule or minimize how you’re feeling, you may begin to question if they are the best people to talk to. Maybe they don't know how to help you or don't see things the way that you do. But these are not reasons that should stop you from asking for help when you need it.

Turn to neutral people who won't judge you, who will believe you, and who care about your point of view, such as Tel-jeunes or the counsellors at your school. These are resources that you can contact independently, without needing to ask for your parents' approval. 

You're afraid that everyone will know

Sometimes you can be afraid that someone will tell others your secrets, or even that they will laugh at you when you tell them, and this can make you not want to share what you’re going through with anyone.

But remember, other than in exceptional circumstances, the professionals helping you are bound by confidentiality. You can even erase your online search history online, including on Tel-jeunes’ website. 

Feeling that you need to educate the person who is supposed to help you

Feeling that the professionals around you don't have the expertise to fully understand what you’re going through (for example, the challenges you face as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, or the microaggressions you experience if you belong to a racial minority group) is frustrating and exhausting. It can feel like a burden to explain the details of what an everyday situation is like for you, and it’s not one that you should have to carry.

Even if this person is well-intentioned, don't hesitate to let them know that you’re not getting the necessary help, and ask to be referred to someone who is better equipped to help you. Violent or discriminatory comments against you or your community are always unacceptable. In these kinds of situations, you have the right to file a complaint. Contact Tel-jeunes if you need to discuss this further.